Today would have been our 14th Wedding Anniversary if BP and I were still together. We've been separated for more than a year and half now... and in a week and a half divorced.
My minds been a whirl in the last 24 hours pondering it all. Checking my heart to make sure I'm totally at peace.
BP and I have been able to meet for coffee over the months and reach an agreement on the custody of our children and a financial settlement. Yesterday, although a little reluctant, I accepted his invite to have lunch together. I was reluctant because previous 'us' talks have ended up with me crying in my lunch!
I'd love to be able to make it right for the kids, but there's so much water under the bridge and the reasons we broke up in the first place are all still there. It's hard, family means the world to me. Divorce isn't something I'm doing lightly. I grieve at the hurt it brings, and for what could have been.
I've reflected and gone over it all, asking myself if I've used differing weights; one heavy and one light when measuring all that's gone on. I'm so sorry to BP for judging his errors harder than my own, and representing him in the worst light. I will always care about him, we've spent a big chunk of our lives together... so much of it good.
I feel it's time to look straight ahead and move forward. I do so with no hard feelings, and hope in my heart. Thankful for the blessed memories and wonderful times held within the 14 years
6 comments:
Thinking of you. xx
Thinking of you guys too. xo
You are one gracious chick, my friend. Love you lots. And proud of you. Your attitude has done you credit. xx
Such a tough time for everyone... lots of love. xK
Big hug to you.
Sx
BEautiful Bec, May God's peace be the umpire of your heart...His perfect pure peace that surpasses all understanding. I remember 14 years ago and my heart goes out to both of you and all of you. Love and prayers and wish I was there to give you a big hug xxx
Post a Comment